Is it so wrong?

This is a bit of a vent I suppose. At the end there will be a question regarding all of what I’m about to say. Just hear me out and then you can think whatever you want to think. I’m curious to see what you guys’ opinions on this matter are. However you end up feeling about what I’m about to say, I ask that you please be nice in the comments (if you choose to comment). If you don’t agree with me on this, that’s totally fine! I realize not many people have this opinion, and that’s alright. I don’t think any less of people who don’t agree with me on things, so I ask that you do the same. Please read the entire journal before commenting, ok? I hope that you guys are able to understand why I feel the way I feel about this. I’m sorry in advance if I upset anybody with this journal. I’m really not trying to upset anybody.

Okay onto the main part!

I’m honestly not sure how to say this without sounding rude about it. If I come off as rude, I certainly don’t mean to. Anyway, I want to talk about my opinion of one popular pet – dogs. I’ll say right now that I honestly really don’t like dogs at all. Now don’t get me wrong, sure I think some dogs are really cute/pretty/etc, and I would never do anything to hurt any dog. That’s not who I am. I actually even live with 3 dogs in my house right now. Two of them belonging to my mother, and the other belonging to my grandfather (We’re watching his dog while he’s in the hospital). Do I get along with these dogs? Yeah, I tolerate them. I take care of them during the day when no one else is home. I don’t really like the dogs, but I figure that while I live here, I just gotta tolerate them since they live here too.  
Ok, but wait, you draw canines. How can you not like dogs???. I really enjoy drawing canines. I’m not sure why, but it’s just really enjoyable to me. I got really into drawing canines a few years ago and I’ve enjoyed it ever since. I also enjoy seeing other people’s canine art.

So now, why do I dislike dogs? It’s very hard to explain, but they just stress me out mostly. Do they mean to? Nah, I know they don’t mean to do that. To sum up a lot of the reasons:  I really don’t like hair getting everywhere, I don’t like animals on furniture, they can be expensive, they can be loud and destructive, and I just find a lot of them to be annoying. I know that not all dogs are all of those things. In fact, I even had a dog of my own before and I loved him very much. Ever since he died I just really haven’t liked dogs. So I’ve felt this way about them since I was 14. It’s been 9 years now. My parents are super annoying with the dogs. They don’t discipline them at all when they’re misbehaving. Especially the barking. My mom’s one dog doesn’t shut up sometimes and she’ll correct him maybe once every month if even that. Then she gets mad at me for complaining about the dog being too loud. Like wow I’m sorry, I’m trying to STUDY for my online classes that I’M PAYING FOR. I cannot concentrate with that kind of noise.  My dad also lets them lick off of the plates sometimes….like…gross? Needless to say, I’ve bought my own plate set and no one else in the house is allowed to touch it but me. I find it extremely annoying and honestly the dogs are the main reason I want to leave. I love where I live other than that, but I cannot keep dealing with the dogs like this.

So what about other people’s dogs? Well, when I go over to friend’s houses and stuff, their dogs are all happy to see me and they just flop on my lap and I pet them. I’m not mean to any dogs, and I do try to pretend I like them if I’m ever around any. Best not to react negatively, you know? I don’t want to cause any scenes. Anyway, if you like dogs, then great! I don’t think anything less of you.

The main reason I’m writing this journal is because of how this dislike of dogs affects my personal life. I try to avoid dogs altogether actually. I’ll have occasional fights with my parents about the dogs, but it’s not a huge issue…but the dating aspect of my life really is. Most people love dogs (at least from what I’ve seen anyways). So of course they won’t take kindly to me not liking dogs. When I was with my last boyfriend (who is now my ex), he and I got into a few fights about dogs. He wanted one, I didn’t. At that point in time we were talking about moving in together in the future and all that stuff. I put my foot down and said I didn’t want a dog living with me again, and I explained to him in detail why (and I told him the story of what happened to my dog I had when I was younger – that story makes me super upset so I really don’t like to talk about it). At that point he said that he understood me a bit better and that maybe I have some psychological trauma from that. I think maybe that could be the case, but I think it’s deeper than just that. That was always an issue in our relationship. It’s very unfair of me to ask someone who loves dogs to not have one ever again, you know? I don’t want to take that away from someone. If you love something, you should be able to have it.
I really can say that dogs are a deal breaker for me. I realize this severely limits my options dating-wise. Honestly, I feel that I really might be alone all of my life for that reason (and maybe also cause I don’t want kids xD). I just know that I don’t ever want to live under the same roof as a dog ever again – for now anyways. Probably not a lot of people would want to deal with that, and I don’t blame them. But I’ll still probably try my luck at online dating sites I suppose. Who knows, maybe someone who shares similar likes/dislikes will be on there.  I don’t want to be alone anymore, but I just cannot compromise when it comes to dogs. I will make many sacrifices for love, but I just won’t do that.

On top of all of that, I just would find it extremely difficult to find the energy to take care of such an interactive pet like a dog. These days I prefer reptiles/fish/amphibians. Although yes, those can be difficult at times too, they’re just so much less stressful to me.
**language warning**
I have severe depression/anxiety and those pretty much drain me most of the time. I think that might also contribute to my issue with dogs somewhat. No, I haven’t gotten treatment for it. Mainly because I probably won’t be able to afford it considering I don’t have insurance that will cover it, and I’m taking classes online right now, so I don’t have a full time job anymore. My mother also doesn’t believe that mental illnesses are a thing. She talks about how her coworker has depression and whatnot and my mom says “It’s just in her head. She’s fine”…like…no?? Mental illnesses are a serious thing. So naturally when I bring it up about myself, she just doesn’t believe me. People that think mental illnesses aren’t an actual serious problem just piss me off. Like how about you try living with this shit for a week and see how you feel about it after that week is up. It’s a literal Hell. Goddamn how can people be so ignorant? Just because it doesn’t affect you doesn’t mean that it doesn’t affect other people. I cannot believe that I am a part of such an ignorant family. I really cannot wait till I’m able to move away. I probably won’t come back. I know it’s an awful thing to say, but I really don’t like my family much. I don’t want anything bad to happen to them, but they’re so fucking ignorant and rude about so many things…so it goes without saying that I am absolutely not family oriented.  But that’s another topic for another day.

Could my opinion on this change over time? Absolutely! Nothing is set in stone really. I’ve changed my mind on things before, so it’s not impossible.
Again, I don’t think anything less of you if you don’t agree with me on this. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. No, I wouldn’t hurt a dog ever. No, I don’t hate your dog(s) if you have any. No, I don’t dislike people who own dogs (in fact, most of my friends have dogs!) I’m just tired of being treated like I’m some evil, hateful person just because I don’t like dogs. Does that really make me a bad person? I would hope not. I just wish more people could try to understand me on this issue, and I hope that you guys understand too. You don’t have to agree, I just want you guys to understand and maybe give me some input on this. I’ve summed it up as best I could, although I may make edits to it later (because I’m tired af right now).

So, after reading everything I said above, do you think I’m some mean/hateful person just because I don’t like dogs?
_{Please try to keep the comments nice. I’m not trying to attack anybody with this journal, so I don’t want to be attacked either.}